Don’t get me wrong, I think therapy is a good way to get everything out in the open, but forcing someone to go to therapy will not make thing better
the worst way for friendships to end is for literally nothing to go wrong, you just stop talking. they stop messaging you to see how youre doing and you get sick of being the first one to initiate conversation so you just let the friendship go and wonder how that person is doing and never hear from them again
emotional abuse is when someone does something to hurt you, and when you express your feelings, that you’re upset, they turn it around to be something you did to hurt them and they force you to apologize for it, and your feelings, like always, are rendered invalid and silenced, forever damaging the ability to trust others with your feelings because they always are used against you.
this is important because so many people don’t know this
You think it’s cool to hate things. And it’s not. It’s boring. Talk about what you love and keep quiet about what you don’t.
Would you be mad at me if I told you that I don’t think about you everyday? Would you be upset that I don’t remember all the details after 8 years? Would you be disappointed in whom I have become?
Would you still be here if I would have told you, “I love you” more?
You left me with so many questions that I will never find an answer to. You left me with pain that still remains in my heart. You left me with nothing simply because you just up and left me.
Tomorrow would have been better. You know, for the longest time, I didn’t believe that things would get better. I had lost all hope. I lost someone who lost all her hope. I didn’t know if things would get better, but they did. I didn’t know if I would get better, but I did. It took some time, but eventually “tomorrow” came and things got better.
Do you ever look down on me from up there? Did you see me when I would cry myself to sleep? Do you see the mistakes I’ve made? Do you see who I am today? Do you ever just want to lean down and whisper the answers to all these questions I have for you?
Do you regret it? Did you really know what you were leaving behind? Was it worth it? Do you see the pain that everyone has suffered? Did you see how many people showed up to your funeral, how many people cared about you, how many people you touched?
I miss you tonight. The days I go without remembering you are the days when I am far too busy putting my life back together. The day you left, my life came crumbling down and for years, all I wanted to do was sit in the rubble. I allowed myself to believe that I wasn’t strong enough to rebuild what was broken. Today I see just how strong I have become.
You left far too early. You left with a part of me that I’ve been searching for, for 8 years. Have I found it? No. Will I ever find it? No.
But what I have come to find is a part of me I never knew existed. I’ve come to find this strong girl that has rebuilt a life that was taken from her the day her sister took her own life. I had battles with you, with the family, with my friends, but it was all just part of the war I have been at with myself. I’ve been through a storm that seemed never ending. I’ve been through 8 years of pain. I’ve been through years of personal destruction only to come out of it with a new mindset. I’ve come to realize that I am not alone in this shambled life of mine. I never had to rebuild this life on my own because people were standing by waiting to help me up from the pile of rubble and help me rebuild what was once broken. And that’s what you never realized.
You weren’t alone.
I hope that you check up on me from time to time. I hope that you see how far I have come. I hope that you are proud of who I am becoming. I hope that you know I miss you all of the time, whether I think about you every day or just a few times a month.
Love you so much, always.
Paradise Fears Covers - The Fighter